Funny things German pupils say – Part 2


Just as you thought it couldn’t get any better, it got better. My previous post about the things the German pupils say at my school was just over 2 months ago (Click here if you’re interested), and within that time I’ve collected more hilarious and, sometimes, weird comments made by them. Enjoy.

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In my first lesson with an 11. Klasse, after I’d introduced myself as Dan from England and everything, a student decided to ask me, right at the end of the 90-minute class: “Warst du schon mal im Ausland?” (“Have you been abroad before?”). I got quite confused with me being abroad at the time, until she then commented: “Dein Englisch ist sehr gut!” (“Your English is really good!”).

Nothing can be said, other than *face palm*.

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This one is one of my favourite sly comments from the students, and is possibly a ‘you should’ve been there’ moment, so I apologise if the funniness doesn’t come across too well. It was, again, an 11. Klasse (they really do come up with some good stuff).

As you know, they were studying the book ‘The Kite Runner’, and I threw the word ‘aftermath’ in to some conversation which I thought it worked nicely in. The teacher liked the word and wrote it on the board, asking everybody else if they knew what it mean, when in matter of milliseconds a student threw ‘nach Mathe?’ (literally translated it as ‘after maths’ – or ‘after math’ in American) at her. It was a perfect moment as he sounded serious but you could tell by his face he didn’t mean it. I did have a good chuckle.

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In my 4. Klasse (approximately Year 5), all the kids are really adorable, and were massively intrigued as I walked into the classroom for the first time, and one of them cried ‘Juhu! Ein Mann Lehrer!’ (‘Woohoo! A man teacher!’).

We were all sat in a circle on the floor and I said a few things in English and German, and I was then asked what other languages I can speak, to which I replied ‘I can speak a little bit of French’.

Now, common sense says that that is the language they speak in France because of how similar they sound (in German, French is ‘Französisch’ and France is ‘Frankreich’).

The teacher asked what ‘French’ could be, and not one kid said ‘Französisch’. Instead, there was an instant cry of ‘SPANISCH!’, and another milder shout of ‘Türkish!’ (‘Turkish’)…

Finally, a few languages later, one kid had a wild guess at French.

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These kids from the 11. Klasse really do crack me up. This situation is more to do with hand gestures rather than what was said.

Basically, someone asked me ‘If you have 1, and another 1, and then you get 2 – what is the ‘2’ called?’ (He was looking for the word ‘solution’). However, he used his fingers for all the numbers being said, and basically put his two fingers up at me, in the way that it’s offensive in England.

Now, I don’t usually find this offensive, but he kept saying ‘You know, what’s ‘2’?’ and every time he said this, he moved his hand up and down whilst still showing the two fingers and all I could do was laugh at him and tell him to stop doing it. The teacher then explained how it’s offensive to do that in England and the kids found it hilarious.

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So there you have it; yet more wonderful quotes by the kids at my school. It’s absolutely brilliant to hear some of the weird stuff they come with. If I were to comment on every single thing I hear, this blog post would probably be ten times the length it is, so I’ve just tried to pick my favourites.

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